Monday, 13 May 2013

Family Drama

At what point are you running away from your issues because you're trying to protect yourself and at what point are you running away for selfish reasons? 

I'm not naive in the fact that I know that all families have their difficulties. The problems can be devastating like abuse or neglect ... or it can be smaller. With so many personalities trying to work together, it's unfortunate that they do clash. Without sounding too cynical, the perfect family doesn't exist and it hurts me to say that. 

I come from a divorced home, like many individuals. Realistically, this was the best result because my life before the divorce was a lot of screaming and tears. Now that the hard part is over  I thought the issues would go away. But I have so much bent up resentment and pain inside me as a result of it, that I can't forgive things that were said and am over critical of things that happen now. 

So I take myself out of situations. I cut people out, I walk out of confrontations. I never forget and I can't move on. 

Part of me knows that this is unhealthy. I should face my issues and share them with others. 

But then there's that part of me that says that it's everyone else's issue. I don't deserve how I've been treated. I should not be screamed at. So I should protect myself and leave. 

I'm so confused at what I should do. 

It sucks to go through this by myself and it hurts my heart to know other's go through this too. I hope that everyone can move forward in their own way. My deepest sympathies go out to other's struggling with family issues; I know it's tough. I understand that this might not be the best way to express my inner turmoil but sometimes people need to vent. 


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